When You're Mine Read online

  Success is a lousy teacher.

  It seduces smart people into

  thinking they can’t lose.

  ~ Bill Gates

  After meeting a little over a year ago, I could never quite shake her memory. Flaming red hair and cool green eyes had been in the face of every woman I’d been with since. My cock twitched again. Greedy bastard was on full show tonight, even when I carried her up to my apartment, which was ridiculous. I closed out the brief I’d been reading and opened another window. I needed to stop thinking about how good it would feel to taste her wine colored lips.

  “Barrett?” Standing at the mouth of the hall with my Alma Mater written across her chest, she fisted the ends of the sleeves. Those creamy legs went on for miles, disappearing beneath the oversized sweatshirt. I dropped my feet from the table, my head spinning with desire. “I can’t sleep,” Her voice was small and weak. A far cry from the confident woman who had just told me less than two hours ago she would never let me have her.

  “What do you need?”

  Tabitha twisted her hands in front of her, digging her toe into the hardwood floor. “I’m hungry,” she purred like a needy little kitten.

  My hard on strained against the loose fabric of my shorts while I continued to contemplate how the hell I could get my lips on hers. I’d fucked many women, but only kissed a few. Kissing carried too many emotions, signifying the potential for more. I didn’t have time for more. But there was no denying, I wanted more of her.

  Looking down at my growing need, she giggled. The sound tumbling from her mouth was so erotic, I felt dizzy and my mind reeled at the thought of what she would sound like once I did get my mouth on her. I wondered what kind of sounds she would give me if I fucked her right here, right now. She folded her arms beneath her large breasts, narrowing her eyes. “I’m not a leftovers kind of girl, Barrett.”

  Ah yes, Madison.

  Madison Waters had been my intern as well as Tabitha’s friend and roommate. Our relationship was strictly physical. That was until I experienced a moment of weakness. I’d been thinking of kissing someone else when I kissed Madison, specifically the redhead standing in front of me.

  The night I met Tabitha, I was immediately drawn to her. I couldn’t explain it, but each time those lips met the rim of her glass, my mouth watered to taste her. We shared several stolen looks throughout the night. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Her eyes alone bred something in me so raw… it was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. It confused me, and for three days straight, I thought about nothing, but her and those goddamn lips. So in a weak attempt to capture feelings for someone else, or crush them all completely, I kissed Madison. I won’t deny the fact that I felt something behind that kiss, but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling for Tabitha and I’d barely even touched her.

  I walked forward until her back kissed the wall. “What happened between Madison and I was physical.” I said. “I always make my intentions very clear.” I caressed the back of her bare thigh. Her tense body softened with my touch, and her eyes closed on a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I need to know what you feel like.” I dropped my lips to her neck. “I need to know what you taste like.” I slowly moved my hand up, digging my fingers into the plump skin of her bare ass. “I need to know what this mouth of yours can say without talking.” Our lips were so close, her sweet breath mingling with mine. “I want to kiss you.”

  “No.”

  I squeezed her plump ass. “Just a taste,”

  “No.” Small hands dug into my chest, shoving me backward. I stood an arm’s length away, our labored breaths desperate and hungry. She wanted me just as bad as I wanted her, but her loyalty to Madison was cock blocking like a mother fucker. “No,” Those soft green eyes hardened with determination. I smiled. She would be a challenge, and I would pursue her just like I did everything else.

  Aggressively.

  Reaching for her hand, I led her into the kitchen. When I turned on the light above the stove, she immediately untangled her fingers from mine. I ignored the disappointment I felt in the pit of my stomach and opened up the refrigerator.

  “Do you have any pickles?” she asked.

  “Pickles?”

  “Yeah… pickles.”

  I opened the other door. “I’ve got a frozen pizza and…” Tucked behind a bottle of ranch dressing was a jar of pickles that had never been opened. “Pickles.” A smile stretched across those beautiful lips in a way that could only be felt in one damn place.

  My chest.

  I settled her on the stool while I slid the stuffed crust pizza into the oven, set the timer, and fixed us something to drink. Then, I leaned across the bar to enjoy the view. She’d requested a fork and was now fishing out pickle chips from the jar. Tabitha tilted her head back, dropping in a forkful of pickles. I admired the slender column of her neck and my lips tingled to taste her. “When I was younger I used to drink the juice straight from the jar.” Scrunching my nose, I swallowed in revulsion. “Don’t judge. I got off the juice the day Jordan Spears told me I smelled like pickles and my head looked like a fire hydrant. Then he proceeded to lift his leg and simulate peeing,” she finished, popping one more into her mouth. Twisting the cap back on, she slid them to me with a smile. “I kicked him in the nuts and never drank pickle juice again. I could never quite kick the pickles though.” The way her mouth moved when she chewed, who would have thought eating pickles, of all things, could be so damn hot.

  “For the record, I want to kiss you pretty fucking bad right now, but I don’t want a nut shot.”

  Heat colored her cheeks. “Sorry if I interrupted you before. You looked like you were really concentrating on something.”

  “Work,” I told her.

  “At 2am?”

  “Big case.”

  Crossing her arms in front of her, she pushed herself up and leaned in closer. The smell of peaches assaulting my senses. “So how does it feel to be the most famous lawyer in the country, Barrett Shaw?”

  The way she said my name had blood pulsing through every vein in my body, mainly my cock. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  “Seriously? You’ve never lost a case and you were just on CNN last month during the coverage of the Hidalgo trial. I can’t believe they found him not guilty. I mean, how do you do it?”

  “Do what?”

  “Make the jury believe he didn’t do it. You know as well as I do that some, probably most of the people you represent are in fact guilty. How do you do it?”

  “I’m good at what I do. I’m quick on my feet and I can break down any situation or person in real time. It’s why I’m the best. And, although toughness of mind is important, it’s impossible to bring home wins if the jury doesn’t like you. What can I say… the jury loves me.”

  She licked her lips and smiled. “Madison told me once you were like a boxer in the courtroom, willing to use any combination of punches to win.”

  “I do what it takes.”

  We fell silent, eating our pizza, and stealing heated looks every other bite. By the time we said goodnight, I knew, beyond a reasonable doubt, I would do whatever it took to win her.

  I generally avoid temptation

  unless I can resist it.

  ~ Mae West

  Desperation had finally taken its toll. The loneliness had consumed me so much that I would sacrifice a friendship just to feel the touch of a man. I crawled between the sheets, his scent drowning me in my own desire. The way he touched me, like I was all he craved, drove me insane with need. Had his tongue been put into play, it would’ve been hopeless. His warm lips on my skin were powerful. If he ever really sank his teeth into me, it would be... the end. Indescribable heat fled from my face to the fire burning between my legs. My greedy hand followed. I pulled my panties to the side, teasing my clit. Slipping down further, I pushed my wet fingers inside, yanking and twisting my thong as I fucked myself right there in the middle of his bed. The thin scrap biting into my fle
sh broke free.

  His mouth.

  His words.

  His pussy stroking voice.

  I reached up to squeeze my breast, twisting and pinching with my frustrated fingers. I wanted it hard and rough, but I would have to settle for quick and weak. Then, I shamelessly did it all over again, desperately seeking relief. Relief only one man could give. I fell into a fitful sleep, hugging his pillow and wishing for the first time Madison Waters was not my best friend.

  My eyes flitted open and closed, focusing in on the chair in front of me. One bare foot rested atop a denim covered knee, faded grey Yankee’s T-shirt stretched across his solid chest, and he wore a smile that could melt my panties, if I had any on.

  Oh shit, my panties!

  “Good morning,”

  I hid my knowing grin, peering at him over the sheet. He looked even more appealing in the golden light of day… strong, confident, and ridiculously gorgeous. Men should not be that beautiful. “Morning,” I said.

  The smile curling his lips had me shifting my legs beneath the covers. God, I wish I could touch myself right now. I wish he could touch me right now. I wish that mouth was anywhere, but all the way over there. “Sleep well?”

  The deep tone of his voice teased my clit and hardened my nipples. “Yes, thanks for taking care of me last night.”

  “Anytime,” he said with glorious smile. “What are your plans for tonight?”

  “Why?”

  “I have tickets to Kings of Leon.”

  I was dancing around like an idiot and fist pumping inside my head. I loved KOL. I’d been dying to see them in concert for years. I didn’t want to say yes, but how could I say no?

  “Well,” he asked in a deep hopeful voice. “Will you come with me?”

  Oh, I want to come with you alright.

  All I could think about were the reasons I should go with him, ignoring all of the reasons why I shouldn’t. “Ok, I’ll go. But I have a few rules.”

  Barrett’s face tightened with irritation. “Rules?”

  “Yes, rules. Rule number one… no touching.”

  Barrett crossed his arms, desire swimming in his captive gaze. “Do you know how hard it is not to touch you right now?”

  His words sent a shiver down my spine, settling hot and thick between my legs. “That’s my second rule… you can’t say inappropriate shit like that. At best, we’re just friends. That’s all we’ll ever be.”

  Barrett leaned forward, his challenging stare leveling me. “That it?” I nodded. “I’ll do my best to follow your rules, Tabitha.”

  It didn’t matter if his words were inappropriate or not, the smooth sound of his voice alone, had me willing to do anything he asked. Of course I knew there was a potential for disaster, but I chose to ignore it. I wanted to test my renewed self-control. Or torture myself. I was still undecided by the time I finally made it back to my apartment.

  There was a time when all that mattered was my next great fuck, but I didn’t want to be that girl anymore. After years of failed attempts to fuck away the pain, I’d finally come to the startling realization that my actions were preventing me from ever having a future. I’d already given my past enough wasted time, I refused to give it a second more. I wanted to be stronger. I wanted to find a way to feel good about myself without sleeping with random men. So three months ago I swore off sex for good. At least until I figured out what I want out of life. I thought I knew the answer to that question, until temptation dared me to question it.

  I spent the next few hours cleaning, anything to expel this pent up energy. By the time six o’clock rolled around, I’d washed, folded, and put away several loads of laundry and given myself two screaming orgasms with my brand new toy. That sucker was worth every damn penny. I still felt the quiet ache whispering between my thighs, but it was well under control now.

  Or so I thought.

  That was until I opened my door to find Barrett on the other side. He had on black jeans and black button down he’d left untucked. The low insistent hum blossomed, and I silently cursed my stupid toy for not being more effective.

  Bottom line, there’s just no substitute for a man.

  Barrett had taken my no touching rule to the extreme. To the point where I was almost praying he would slip up just so I could feel his body brush against mine, his hands… anything. He remained distant on our way to the concert, playing the perfect gentleman and driving me mad with anticipation. Desire festered and bloomed until I was a mess of nerves and need. This new self-control I was beginning to pride myself on was nearly obsolete by the time we were settled in our seats.

  “These seats are amazing. How did you manage to get tickets on such short notice?” I asked, taking a sip of my bottled water. I made the choice early on to avoid alcohol tonight. I needed to keep a clear head if I had any chance of ignoring the urge to hump his leg. But it wasn’t the alcohol I needed to worry about… it was the man sitting next to me.

  Barrett was careful not to touch me when he brought his mouth next to my ear. “I’m very resourceful.”

  I shifted away from the blistering heat pouring from his lips. If sex had a voice…it would sound just like him. “Do you always get what you want?”

  He gave me a belly dipping grin, showing off that tiny dimple at the top of his cheek. “Yes.”

  I sat up straighter, my heart searching for a way to escape my chest. I wondered what it would be like to give in to this persistent need. What it would be like to give myself to him in every single way imaginable.

  Stop thinking about things you can never have.

  “Well, there is one thing that’s presented more of a challenge than I anticipated.”

  I met his gaze. “Oh yeah, and what’s that?”

  “You.”

  “Remember the rules, Shaw.”

  The smile on his face was replaced with a look of great determination. “I won’t touch you, but as far as what comes out of my mouth, I make no promises, baby.”

  Avoiding his glare, my eyes wandered to a man making his way up the steps. Not nearly as delicious as the one next to me, but a delicious one all the same. He gifted me with a wink as he passed. “I’m not your baby,” I told Barrett, making it a point to check the guy out.

  Barrett tensed. “Only a matter of time.”

  I found his eyes. “You’re full of yourself aren’t you?”

  “If you mean confident, then yes.”

  “Arrogant is the word I was looking for.”

  “You can call me whatever you want, but there’s one thing you need to remember,” he leaned in closer, his breath whispering a solid oath in my ear, “I always win.” The lights dimmed and he pulled away, leaving me with a burning ache so deep, it melted away any reservations I had about letting him fuck me until I didn’t know my own name. If only it were so simple.

  I was lost in the music, singing along and soaking up the electric atmosphere. A bead of sweat trickled down my spine as I swayed to Sex on Fire. My sex had been on fire for 24 straight hours now. I caught him staring throughout the night, his eyes harboring an intensity that was all together maddening and alluring. The spellbinding lyrics of Closer vibrated in my chest as Barrett stepped in behind me, reaching out to grip the rail, trapping me inside of his arms. “I thought I could do it. I tried, but I’m weak. I need to touch you. It’s the only way I can fucking breathe.” One arm banded around my waist, holding me in place. “What are you doing to me?”

  “What are you doing to me?” I countered, looking over my shoulder.

  “Making you mine.” The back of my head fell to his shoulder. I didn’t possess the strength to fight it in that moment. I simply closed my eyes, completely lost in him.

  The music.

  Us.

  Soft lips met the tingling flesh of my neck and I nearly lost my mind. “Mmm…salty and sweet.” He began to rub the denim between my legs, pulling a sharp moan from my lips. “Fuck, I love that sound. Let me hear it again.” He rubbed harder and I moaned l
ouder. Grinding my hips against his hand, seeking relief only he could give.

  I came in seconds. The blessed orgasm washing over me in a tidal wave of shame and desperation.

  Oh shit, what have I done?

  Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.

  ~ Samuel Butler

  Sweat flowed down the center of my bare back. My legs and lungs were on fire. This was the furthest I’d ran in months. Usually, my normal five miles were enough to quell any battle I was facing. But I couldn’t outrun the redhead with green eyes dominating my every thought. I was up to nine miles now, reaching for ten. My feet pounded the treadmill, pushing further and further. Tabitha Warren had awakened an unknown part of me, and now the need to have her was all I craved, and not just her body. I wanted her in every way one could belong to another. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I’d never wanted more than physical gratification from a woman. But even before Tabitha, I’d felt like something was missing. I just wasn’t sure what that something was.

  I pressed the cool down button and reached for my towel, mopping the sweat from my face. Since dropping her off Saturday night, I hadn’t been able to think about anything besides the way she felt and the noises she made when she fell apart in my arms. I’m still not sure how I pulled it off, but I managed to walk her to her door without begging her to come inside. She said goodbye like we would never speak again, thanking me for a great night before rushing into her apartment.

  I stepped into the shower, allowing the cool water to wash over my heated skin. Pressing one palm to the tile in front of me, I closed my eyes and fisted my cock with the other. This had become a daily ritual, imagining what it would be like to bury myself inside of her. How soft her body would feel naked beneath mine. How tight and wet she would be for me. Every illicit thought and image running through my mind made me pump harder.